I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
