How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
