I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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