if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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