yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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