Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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