...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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