The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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