wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
