I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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