Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
