I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
