Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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