She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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