if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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