so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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