the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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