I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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