Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
