This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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