Duck Duck Cougar?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
