Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sorry about my life...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
His nipple licking is glorious
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