i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We need to get me chipped asap
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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