I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
