i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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