Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
