I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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