i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
