Non-Jews are for practice
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
