I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
its liver damage thursday
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
