i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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