I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
