Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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