as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The best revenge is premature balding
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize