im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
