I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I intend to get homeless drunk
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize