all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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