At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
