I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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