I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We need to get me chipped asap
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
