Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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