please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
