i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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