I'm jealous of your bromance
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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