so let's talk penis.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
