apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
