Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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