I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize