i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
