I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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