how can u be prego again
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
