My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
