he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
