The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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