Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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