I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
