Grow some girl-balls and come out already
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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