OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
