Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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