Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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