did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
