thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
