sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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