3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
