her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
