Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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