Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize